Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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