i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
did i walk over a car last night?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
