That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize