Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
