Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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