I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
