just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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