drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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