also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
