I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
