Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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