Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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