oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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