Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize