I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
