She said her name was "party"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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