Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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