they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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