Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
