So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
