we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
