Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
