I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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