I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
