He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
