your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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