his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
