It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
