i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
