She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
