lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
