yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
