I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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