sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love having hate sex.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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