Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
