so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
there's paper in my vomit.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
