you traded sex for a burrito?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
