smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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