What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
