Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
