youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
