turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
