8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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