I wish my penis had an off switch
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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