Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize