rhymes with "ouble enetration"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
