seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
