I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
