She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
