I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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