the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
