have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Let's paint friendship bongs
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
this hospital has no fireball
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
