Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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