I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
