I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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