singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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