There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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